November 2009
1 post
Walmart
A TRIP TO WALMART Yesterday I was at my local WALMART buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I...
October 2009
1 post
August 2009
4 posts
July 2009
3 posts
WHITE LIE CAKE
Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially those who bake for church events. Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies’ Group in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair,...
Laugh For the Day
You are on a crowded bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. You let go about 5 strong loud ones back to back. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you leave the bus, people are really staring you down, and that’s when you remember:…………. you’ve...
June 2009
14 posts
It is a slow day in the East Texas town of Madisonville. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich tourist from the East is driving through town. He enters the only hotel in the sleepy town and lays a hundred dollar bill on the desk stating he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs...
willmccloud:
Blindsided - Bon Iver
it’s a rainy...
Lucky day!
If you’ve ever worked for a boss that reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that...
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, ’Well, then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator and get alligator shoes for free!’ The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, ‘Well, little lady, why don’t you go on and give it a try?’ The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an...
I love when my grandma sends random funny emails...
Grandma’s letter. She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting
. So, I bought the sticker and...
May 2009
20 posts
tinygiraffe:
the song How am I supposed to live without you by Michael Bolton was number one on the charts the day I was born.
I know world, I know, how were you supposed to live without me?
Mine was Open your Heart by Madonna
Woman cuffed for not holding on the the escalator... →
tinygiraffe:
fuckyeahtheoc:
Spoon - The Way We...
Now Finish Your Lollipop and Don't Contradict Me...
Mom: He'll have chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and gummy bears.
Five-year-old son: But I want the blue ice cream!
Mom: Honey, the blue is cotton candy ice cream. You can't have it...it's pure sugar.
“Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.”
Officially a UCF Graduate!
graduation today was awesome, but i am so going to miss everything! it feels so weird to call myself and Alumni out loud!
tinygiraffe:
crushes:
boy,
A. best friend. B. crush. C. girlfriend.
I want to be your “D,” your “all of the above.”
— girl
this is so adorable.
“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said,...”
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained...
There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue. She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed. In a panic she called 911. They answered and said “This is Joe, is there an emergency?” The blonde replied “Yes my shed is on fire!!!” Joe said,...
April 2009
17 posts
All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.
Watch
WatchPacman in REAL LIFE! how awesome is this?!
